Can we make a mistake?

There’s been a myriad  of songs written about it, but do we ever set out with the intention of making a mistake?   I would suggest NO would be the emphatic answer!  We set out to do our best, to show up and be true to the values we live our lives by.  We listen to ourselves and follow in the moment what feels like the right thing to do.   So why are we so worried about ‘making a mistake’?  Why do we procrastinate decision making when a mistake is something which is always in the past tense.    I ‘Made’ a mistake.   We don’t  ever say, “Ok I’m going to choose  to make a mistake now” – do we?

We don’t say, “Ok I’m going to choose to make a mistake now” – do we?

What we do make are choices.  We make our choices based on the information we have at that moment – sometimes these are  instinctive choices, following our intuition, and sometimes  more considered.    Sometimes we are trained to make tactical decisions ‘in the moment’.  What we can do, is to choose to reach a decision based on either a FEAR of something happening, or not happening, or from a place of strength and LOVE for ourselves.

For example.  A new client asks to work with you.  You know they are not your ‘ideal’ client and that working with them will not be lighting you up, but you decide to take them on.  It’s likely you are doing this from FEAR.  Fear  that you have to say yes to everyone so you don’t offend them.  Fear that if you don’t say yes to this particular person, that your ideal client won’t come, and so you HAVE to work with anyone who turns up just to keep the wheels turning.

Alternatively, you are asked to help on the board of a charity.  This is a dream role, but you have so much on at the moment, that it’s just not the right time.  You say YES from a FEAR base, worried that if you say NO, then they will never ask you again, and so you’ll lose  their favour.   So you decide to make things work, even though it is a struggle and you don’t feel fulfilled or enjoy it as much as you would like to.

In my experience and from working with my coaching clients, saying yes from a fear base will generally not create the best outcome for you or others involved.  Whenever I’ve tried to squeeze just another thing into my already busy schedule, something always gives.  I used to miss or be late for appointments, and stress over not being able to meet deadlines, which ended up with me spending more time at work, or working on into the evening to get the job done.  I’d come home absolutely drained or thoroughly grouchy.  Then there were the feelings of  guilt –  that I had chosen to work late in preference to being with my children.  I became a complete victim to my schedule.

This is often where my clients are when they arrive.  They know something isn’t right, but can’t put their finger on it.  They know deep down that there is something more to life than feeling unfulfilled, which is affecting their relationships, but are unsure what to do about it.  What we do is to strip everything back, find what they truly want and build a path to create their dreams.  It’s surprising what can be achieved.  Simple is often the best step to take, and the first step is to get in touch and see if I can help.  Call me 07794043282 or email  equis@equiscoaching.co.uk

Can we make a mistake?

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